As You Turn One

Dear Baby Jack,

I'm watching you play with your big sister now, seeing my baby boy turning into a toddler. It's hard to imagine you as the tiny (well, maybe not so tiny) baby we met one year ago. 

I've thought a lot about what I want to say to you on your first birthday, the first of many we get to celebrate with you. I don't think I can truly express to you how much you mean to me, but I'm going to try.

You have changed so much during your first year! Watching you grow from a tiny baby to a little person is a delightful, and we are starting to see your more of your personality every day. 

One of the best words to describe you is happy, and you've acquired the nickname of "happy" or "hap." Even people who don't know you at all will comment on how happy you are! Your smile lights up your entire face, up to your big blue eyes, and the two dimples in your chubby cheeks. 

You love to throw, bang and hurl any object that crosses your path. One of your favorite games right now is smashing anything, and it doesn't matter if you use a toy, a sippy cup or the remote. I am learning a lot about how differently boys play! 

You babble all the time, and you have distinct sounds for Joey, Dada and Mama. Lucy is a tricky word for you, but your noises definitely get more excited and noisy when she is around. 

You are a great mimic, and you started doing "so big" and waving when you were around 10 months old. You are a huge flirt so waving is an important skill. You've added claps, high fives and handshakes to your repertoire! 

Watching you interact with your big sister is such a thrill, and I can tell you two will be the best of friends. A while ago I told Daddy of a time when I was watching you and Lucy play, and I felt like I got a glimpse of the future when you will share secrets with each other. Even though I was sad to think of a time when I don't know every little detail of your lives, it makes me happy to know you will have such a special relationship.

Sometimes, though, I wish there was a pause button on life so I could keep you small and snuggly.

I secretly love that you are a mama's boy. I love being the one person who can always comfort you. You never became attached to a lovey; instead, you got comfort from pulling my hair or yours, and you still do this today when you need to calm down. Sometimes you even start pulling my hair when you're in a new situation or meeting new people. I've even caught you twirling your hair and waving at strangers.

I have been thinking a lot lately about how blessed I am to have my life. I am so thankful for every day with you, even on those reeeeaaaaalllllyyyy long days when we're cooped up indoors all day and I think I might lose my mind. 

I love being your mama. I never think anymore about where I'll be in 5 years from now, or what I will be doing then. I know what I want to be. And I know who I'm supposed to be. That is being your and Lucy's mama.

I will love you always.